Where is the hickey?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
