then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
