I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
