Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
