4 words: hood of his car
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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