thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
