Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
