Moan for me like Helen Keller
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
