this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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