Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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