Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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(812): View more from Indiana

Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??

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(581): View more from Quebec

I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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(303): View more from Colorado

so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...

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(408): View more from California

He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

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(418): View more from Quebec

He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants

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(773): View more from Illinois

I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.

(312): View more from Illinois

you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?

(773): View more from Illinois

That answers my next five questions

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