You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
