He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
