R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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