and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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