WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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