like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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