I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
