so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
