apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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