WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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