You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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