omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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