sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
