dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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