I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
