My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize