never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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