What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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