Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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