I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
