shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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