I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
