This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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