Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
