He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
