You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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