it was like eating out sand paper
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
