I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
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What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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