sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
