Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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