I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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