Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
