Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize