so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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