How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
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if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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