Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's on the porch naked. Help.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
