hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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