I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
