She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
