do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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