If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
