This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
