How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
