I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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