I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
