Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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