How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
