I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
