I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
