i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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