Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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