Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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