she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
