he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
